Because this is me, saying words I actually mean.
I won't compromise this thing just to make it.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Life vs Death

Everything went white and all noise stopped as we crashed into the car. All I could think was "fuck, I'm going to die". It was a moment I hope to never relive again. 

But, alas, I opened my eyes, looked over at my best friend, and we both got the fuck out of that car. It started to set in about 30 seconds after we got out and I lost my shit. It felt like I lost control of all my senses and my body didn't work anymore. 

I'm okay now. A little sore, but that's to be expected when an airbag hits you directly in the chest. I don't want to think about how much worse off we both could have been. I'm giving mad props to my body for being able to take a hit and slowly bounce back. I think if this was me and my body two years ago things may have panned out differently. I took a rough hit yesterday, and I'm not going to lie and say I responded well because I didn't. After returning home, I drowned my sorrows in Chinese food and ice cream. It wasn't that good...actually...not as good as I hoped it would be, and I didn't feel better at any point doing it or after. I can make as many excuses as I want about it, but at the end of the day it was my decision, and I own up to it, and will do my best to learn from it and not resort back to old habits in a time of crisis. Moving on.....

"Death is peaceful - easy. Life is harder" <3


  1. Oh my god I am so glad you are both okay! I want to hear more about it and call you - but I'm about to pass out from writing lesson plans! Tomorrow?