Because this is me, saying words I actually mean.
I won't compromise this thing just to make it.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Moment of Truth.

I woke up this morning and decided to weigh myself.
It's been 3 weeks since my last weigh-in.

it's been a year and a half since I made the choice.

sometimes it was simple, easy. just working out and eating better.

sometimes I cried myself to sleep because I felt worthless, frustrated. hurt. annoyed.

sometimes I wanted to tell everyone of my accomplishments because I was that proud of myself.

sometimes I wished  nobody would notice anything and I could just live and not have the constant reminder of how lost I really was.

It was the strangest feeling that came over me this morning as I looked down at the number. Nobody made me to to the gym everyday and workout sometimes until there was nothing else I could give. That was all me. And that person that had to make split second decisions when faced with things to eat? Also me. And that girl that sometimes let the bad stuff get in the way and loose focus, sometimes resulting in a binge or days without being physical? Me. Let's not forget about the woman who is way more aware of her body, emotions, and self-worth. I'm taking the credit for that, too.

It was almost as if the number on that scale this morning looked back at me...and wasn't surprised that he was there. because I did the work. and got the results.

so, the verdict, you ask? well, a real woman never tells her weight. :) but my quick math skills showed that I've lost 106lbs. No, not lost. I won't ever "find" it again. But, regardless...I've reached that cliche milestone with some to add, and I wanted to write it down.

For me.

I've waited a long time to have this moment. I'm going to embrace it. I'm going to celebrate it. I'm going to remember it. And I'm going to continue forward. <3

1 comment:

  1. I don't know how I had missed this post, but I LOVE IT! So well-written and suspenseful. I can't believe you passed the 100 mark - congrats :) !!!